Sunday night, Dad sent me an email.
In a nutshell, someone in our family had asked him for my ex's number to invite him to a New Years Eve party.
Dad was asking me if this was OK with me, and if it wasn't, he offered to councel that person on what is appropriate and what is uncomfortable socializing with our new family dynamic.
I read the email, thought about it for hours then slept on it. I emailed Dad back the next morning.
I explained that I felt ok with everyone being friendly with my ex - forever if they'd like to be. Especially durring the winter Holidays, he has no family here, and he's done every single holiday and event with my family since we met, and I didn't mind if he was invited this year.
Although he was invited to both Thanksgiving and Christmas, he elected not to attend but sent his sincerest thanks for the invitations. I really don't mind if he's invited or if he does decide to go. If I did, I'd make sure everyone knew my feelings on that. And there will be many, many occasions they can see him - we are tied together for the rest of our lives by the 2 we created.
So, I took Dad up on his offer.
I asked him to politely point out that inviting my ex to some things sometimes is fine - as long as they check with me first. But not to let it turn into a habit of inviting him to every birthday, graduation, Fourth of July, etc. He thought that was the right thing to do as well and he handled it on my behalf.
In his email, he also reminded me that I have never told him why we got divorced. (NB Fact: Dad was actually the very last human being we were going to tell. But, he found out - he always seems to find out - he called me and asked if he was, in fact, the last person to know. I simply said, Yes.) He explained that he's proud of the way we've handled it so far, that he's sad to see us go through it, and that he still thinks highly of my ex. Lastly, he wrote that no matter what we decide to do from here, he'll allways love me and support me whenever he can.
Very sweet. I know he means it. It made me feel good.