Like, when someone suggests that I may approach certain situations the way I do becuase I want to avoid conflict or don't want to be hurt or to get attention.
Of course I'll deny it all - "No I Don't!"
But then, I'll mull it over in my brain for days, even weeks. And the next time I find myself in said situation, I'll pay attention to what I'm doing, what I'm saying and even what got me there in the first place and sure enough, I'm usually doing exactly what I was sure I wasn't going to.
I'm suggesting that if you pay attention to what people say, then to yourself, you realize you may not have known yourself as well as you thought. AND to change a subconscious behavior, all you usually need is to be aware you're even doing it.