This was the first Thanksgiving in 10 years that I didn't host - at 'our' house. In fact, it was the first Thanksgiving that I didn't have him with me in 15 years.
I had my family, but it was different, and sad. I kept my chin up though. I tried to, at least. And my family was there for me when I faltered. I thought about how I could create new traditions while still keeping true to what Thanksgiving has always been to me in the past. But, that was harder than I thought it would be. Maybe next year it will come a little easier.
It's wierd though. This whole extended Holiday weekend has been so quiet. I've tried to stay busy, it keeps my mind from wandering to the sadness. But, I know that self-medicating also keeps me from dealing with the reality of my new reality.
I am dreading Christmas.
I had my family, but it was different, and sad. I kept my chin up though. I tried to, at least. And my family was there for me when I faltered. I thought about how I could create new traditions while still keeping true to what Thanksgiving has always been to me in the past. But, that was harder than I thought it would be. Maybe next year it will come a little easier.
It's wierd though. This whole extended Holiday weekend has been so quiet. I've tried to stay busy, it keeps my mind from wandering to the sadness. But, I know that self-medicating also keeps me from dealing with the reality of my new reality.
I am dreading Christmas.
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