We haven’t known each other long and we don’t speak often, but we’re tight.
I asked him about his new job, and his girlfriend.
He said they were in a fight about something and that their relationship probably wouldn’t last through the summer – it’s one of those “on again, off again” deals.
He asked about BF, and I told him I hadn’t heard anything from him since October.
I asked my friend what he and his girl fight about and what it is about her that draws him back in after a break-up. He mentioned some of her issues and they made me think about my own. His reply also made me think about what I’m willing to put up with and what character flaws in my own relationships would be deal-breakers.
He said he wasn’t really sure why he kept taking her back and that it was a question he asked him self often. He added that when things were good, they were really good. I completely understand that.
Maybe it’s about if there are more good times than bad and if the bad times get progressively worse over the months and years. It could also depend on if the other person acknowledges their faults and makes an earnest effort to change.
I told him about some of the things I’d been thinking about in my own relationship and he confirmed that guys think about those things, too. He said “It’s the future, it should be thought about.”
“Future” could be defined by the male and female of any relationship by two completely different set of parameters. Future could be next Christmas or 5 or even 20 years from now. Future could mean the interpersonal relationship you share or the materials things you acquire over a period of time.
Whenever the “Future” comes up, I do think about BF and all the talks we had that ended with “…in the future.” Those talks are some of the things that make me doubt the future. Or maybe they make we doubt people.
In the end, my NY friend and I both agreed to stay the course for now and see where we end up – in the future.