This blog post captures my ponderings on feelings - and whether one is better off sharing them or keeping them to oneself.
By now you know I'm not a sharer. As I am fond of saying about a few other aspects of myself, this is both a blessing and a curse. Oh sure, it's easy to spill it on a website, but talking openly and honestly about how I feel to another person is difficult. I work, train and function at an overall higher level of effectiveness when I'm struggling through a difficult time. That professional boost has been rewarded time and again, so those professional successes are my drug and I have little motivation to change. But, the consequence to shutting down, isolating myself and clamming up is that my most intimate relationships suffer for it.
I try to think about the others: the people who feel compelled to tell me what their heart feels like, how my stand-off-ish nature has affected them negatively, and feel slighted when I don't open up and share my uniquely Natalie thoughts, opinions, sarrows and successes. I wonder if they face the same difficulties in relationships that I do, only from the opposite end of the spectrum. I mean, do people get to know them and think ”This guy/gal is a little too tightly wound.”
There are certainly benefits and drawbacks to operating both ways. I doubt one way is ”righter” than the other. You just have to deal with the fallout, I guess.
I wish Facebook had a relationsip status for ”I'm complicated.”
Yeah, it's still rainig...