I didn't want their clothes or thier toys. And as I got older, I certainly didn't want their boyfriends. Don't misunderstand, it's not that I wanted a girlfriend, but their boyfriends were all idiots.
In my late teens and early 20's, my choices were a little better, but still a sea of boys, not men. Which is why he stood out. He wasn't concerned with being cool. He already was cool. He wasn't worried how much cash his daddy was going to send him each month to party becuase he was too busy working his way through college and taking a full course load so he could get the hell out of there. He listened to different music than I'd heard before, and when we talked late into the night - he was true to himself - unconcerned with impressing me with lies that sounded macho. He was sincere and I thought he was the most... well, the most.
I tried to stay true. I really did. I'd never not cheated on anyone before. Supressing that urge, when it decides to creep into your head is hard. Like anything else we deny ourselves, it starts as a little flicker of a thought and before you know it, you're consumed. But honestly, I really wanted to keep my promise. I really, really did.
But, I couldn't.