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Natalie Blake is an open book and a bad speller.

Choose Love

6/29/2010

1 Comment

 
Written a few months ago - posted today.

“Choose love. For it has already chosen you,”  is what my yogi said as we started our meditation at the end of this week’s class.  

At first I thought “Aw… how cute.” But as I sat quietly and decided to actually give meditating a try, I concentrated on her words.  “Choose love. For it has already chosen you.” I’m sure the more experienced students in the class thought about how true that statement was and had thoughts of how to spread  that positive energy through  their lives over the next week and beyond.  

But honestly, the more I thought about it, the more it upset me. By the end of meditation, I was sad and stressed out, not blissful and bubbling with hope.  My primary concern was “what if I choose love and then can’t recognize it?”  Then that stress shifted to “What if I choose love and open my heart to it, only to find that love isn’t what I was looking for in the first place?” 

Let’s look at the facts – from my perspective. There is a lot of “like” out there. And like can be a good thing. It’s fun and exciting and makes you feel good without the impending heartbreak love promises one day. I’ve chosen like many, many times, but love is a whole lot harder to find, even if it HAS already chosen you. There could actually be several opportunities in a lifetime to choose love – and you will be disappointed.   

I did find it once though. My disappointment lies in the timing of the affair. Apparently, even if you do find love, there are no promises made that you can keep it. I am, however, a better person for having that love in my life – even if it was only for a while.  

Although I write this with pessimism and negativity towards a meditation that was meant to be uplifting and relaxing, the love I had DID give me hope. I hope I find that feeling again one day – because it really is so much better than like. 
1 Comment
LG
4/26/2012 02:27:15 am

Never talk about having a "yogi" it comes off pretentious. He's just a person being paid to teach yoga.

I had a professor who told me you really can't write about anything important in your life unless it is at least a year old. His advice was to keep notes etc when something good, bad, beautiful, ugly happens and then come back to it.

He felt like with a year's perspective you have a better understanding of the situation and what it really meant to you.

You should take this last bit and expand on it from a fresh perspective:

"The love I had gave me hope. I hope I find that feeling again one day – because it really is so much better than like."

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