There is looking into your lover's eyes and there is connecting with your lover by gazing deeply into their eyes. Never is this more apparent than as you orgasm together and silence takes over for a few moments of non-verbal communication that you are one energy among the countless energies in the universe.
Gazing is not a casual glance. And it feels freer and more intense than other eye contact, even during sex. You know when it happens. and it happens right before, during and right after orgasm.
However, "eye gazing" is not exclusive to sexual encounters.
And it is not something you do with those you are not already intimately connected with. I like doing it to reconnect after a hectic day or during a stressful period in our lives. It brings your minds and energies back into synch, so it goes without saying that the more you do it, the more connected you stay to your lover and the less frequently life gets between you.
There is a vulnerability that comes with gazing and it is hard to maintain eye contact when you're just beginning. You are truly connecting with another being on an uncommon level. It's uncomfortable at first - but with practice it becomes a part of your relationship that you crave. It's somewhat challenging - I liken it to learning how to meditate because, for me, meditation took lots of practice and I am still a student that must practice and concentrate on quieting my mind and being present. But, just as meditation takes you beyond the surface of yourself, eye gazing takes you beyond the surface of your lover. You learn to see behind their eyes to their soul - not just the part of themselves they choose to share.
Sharing time when you are both present for each other and concentrating on nothing else feels... well, it feels incredible.
Start with sitting with an open and relaxed posture while facing each other. Personally, I think doing this on the bed or the floor is best. There is plenty of room to sit comfortably and to open your frame up to accept each other. And I prefer for the lights not to be too harsh, so I turn off the overheads (and the fan) and turn lamps on for softer, indirect light. But if the room is too dark you may not be able to see the subtleties in your lovers eyes.
As a beginner 3 minutes is a good goal. Gaze into each other's left eye. This is your "receiving eye" and don't make it a staring contest. Blink, breathe and come back to focus on your partner if you get distracted. Most importantly, be present. Your lover deserves 3 minutes of you. You deserve 3 minutes of your lover.
Don't worry about the outward act of gazing. Instead, learn to focus on opening yourself up to share your energy with your lover and on receiving the energy they share with you. As you get better at this, you'll learn to how to feel the two of you becoming one. After some practice, you will find this quiet time together recharges you and ignites the passion you share for each other on a level deeper than sexual orgasm can achieve.
I can only assume that one day, this will be all I have with him.
As all humans age, our sexual activity starts to fade for myriad reasons.
But eye gazing will always be there. It will keep us connected. And our energies will remain one among the countless energies in the universe.
Gazing is not a casual glance. And it feels freer and more intense than other eye contact, even during sex. You know when it happens. and it happens right before, during and right after orgasm.
However, "eye gazing" is not exclusive to sexual encounters.
And it is not something you do with those you are not already intimately connected with. I like doing it to reconnect after a hectic day or during a stressful period in our lives. It brings your minds and energies back into synch, so it goes without saying that the more you do it, the more connected you stay to your lover and the less frequently life gets between you.
There is a vulnerability that comes with gazing and it is hard to maintain eye contact when you're just beginning. You are truly connecting with another being on an uncommon level. It's uncomfortable at first - but with practice it becomes a part of your relationship that you crave. It's somewhat challenging - I liken it to learning how to meditate because, for me, meditation took lots of practice and I am still a student that must practice and concentrate on quieting my mind and being present. But, just as meditation takes you beyond the surface of yourself, eye gazing takes you beyond the surface of your lover. You learn to see behind their eyes to their soul - not just the part of themselves they choose to share.
Sharing time when you are both present for each other and concentrating on nothing else feels... well, it feels incredible.
Start with sitting with an open and relaxed posture while facing each other. Personally, I think doing this on the bed or the floor is best. There is plenty of room to sit comfortably and to open your frame up to accept each other. And I prefer for the lights not to be too harsh, so I turn off the overheads (and the fan) and turn lamps on for softer, indirect light. But if the room is too dark you may not be able to see the subtleties in your lovers eyes.
As a beginner 3 minutes is a good goal. Gaze into each other's left eye. This is your "receiving eye" and don't make it a staring contest. Blink, breathe and come back to focus on your partner if you get distracted. Most importantly, be present. Your lover deserves 3 minutes of you. You deserve 3 minutes of your lover.
Don't worry about the outward act of gazing. Instead, learn to focus on opening yourself up to share your energy with your lover and on receiving the energy they share with you. As you get better at this, you'll learn to how to feel the two of you becoming one. After some practice, you will find this quiet time together recharges you and ignites the passion you share for each other on a level deeper than sexual orgasm can achieve.
I can only assume that one day, this will be all I have with him.
As all humans age, our sexual activity starts to fade for myriad reasons.
But eye gazing will always be there. It will keep us connected. And our energies will remain one among the countless energies in the universe.
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