Marriage is, at it's core, a business deal - not a love affair.
We all know that from the beginning (whatever beginning you beleive in) males compete for females and females choose males based on thier ability to prove they can provide food, shelter and good genes. It has been this way and still is this way.
So, now that I'm a foxy single lady, I've noticed an uptick in people asking me if I'll ever get married again.
And I'm not a bitter divorcee spewing hatred for all men - but I ask them why they want to know. Some tell me I'm "still young" as if I were OLD, they'd not worry themselves with my marital status. Old ladies want to know who's going to "take care" of me. Huh? Still some think it's sad that I'll be "alone" without a husband. All this hen-pecking just makes me wonder if I'm in the Twilight Zone.
So, my reply to them brings a range of reactions. Some look at me like I'm insane, like they don't even know me. Others nod, but don't say anything. Only once did anyone acknowledge my viewpoint as a valid opinion - and it was a man.
I think about my future and another marriage like this: I don't need to get married. Why should I? I have everything a husband could ever give me. And more importantly, I now have assets (not to mention lives) to protect that having a husband, and perhaps another divorce, could jeopardize.
I'm not planning to be alone forever - not at all how NB operates - but I don't want or need to be married. I also do not want to co-habitate with someone. I live in a state that recognizes Commonlaw Marriages. I don't think you can write a pre-nup on an unofficial union, can you? And I don't want to set that example for my kids. I'm not perfect by any means, but I am one of the primay examples by which my children will live their own lives - and I have always been very aware of that.
One last reason I feel marriage is a business deal - is that I KNOW it is. Thats how I lived my last marriage. We were madly in love at first and for a long while after that - but over time found ourselves running a well-oiled, highly motivated corporation. He was the CEO and I, the COO. So successful was this juggernaut, that even our marriage counselor and divorce attorney told us we could write a book and take this show on the road - that other families needed us to show them how successfully a family can be run.
We laughed, but we could have totally done it. Ya see, we started lovers and ended business partners. And, I just don't need a lifelong partner to stand between me and my projected gains. The business of being my family is under new management. (So many easy puns - I couldn't help myself.)