Secrets are dangerous.
If not, they wouldn’t be secret.
Who knows your secrets?
Are you sure nobody else does?
I was abandoned by someone who couldn’t handle my secrets.
Apparently, they were too much for them – or hit too close to home.
If I remember correctly, I was “frightening.”
And, as I said Wednesday, two things I can not stomach are hypocrisy and judgment.
I know this persons secret.
They probably don’t even know I know – and if they do, just don’t care.
I’m not out to ruin lives… but I want them to know that I know so they can think about how judgemental they are. And maybe they can think about how they're doing the same thing I did...
and that it's not a secret.
It all started when I was talking to my therapist about someone I can't let go of - even though they let me go without a second thought.
I told her that it bothers me greatly that this person was so quick to judge me when I admitted that I had cheated on my husband.
She said "Have you ever heard of the Shadow Self?"
She explained it like this:
"When you don't like someone - maybe you know why and maybe you don't - what you don't like about them is usually something you don't like about yourself, whether you've acknowledged it or not. That part of you where you keep the things about yourself you're ashamed of or scared of or don't even recognize as part of your personality is your Shadow Self. Judgement comes from the Shadow Self. People judge becuase they're afraid. They're afraid of what THEY are as much as they fear the person they're judgeing."
My heart raced.
She continued: "I know you get what I'm saying becuase your eyes just lit up and you're glowing. Think about that. Think about the person who cut you loose and then think about why you don't like the people you don't like. I know you can think this through becuase you've spent the last few years seeking out and confronting your Shadow Self - you just didn't realize thats what you were doing."
She was right. As far as thinking goes, this is right in my wheelhouse. I love taking the journey through all the aspects of what this could mean... to myself, my children, and the people I'm closest to.
Either you're in a personal place to "get" this or you're not.
I'm there. And this makes complete sense to me.
Here's are excerpts from the link below:
"...the shadow or "shadow aspect" is a part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts."
"the shadow, in being instinctive and irrational, is prone to projection: turning a personal inferiority into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else"
"the shadow sometimes overwhelms a person's actions; for example, when the conscious mind is shocked, confused, or paralyzed by indecision."
"...and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is."
I'll let you read more if you'd like.
I can put up with a lot.
I can keep secrets, forego fame by staying behind the scenes, and I am a recognized coach and mentor who is known for empowering others to do what they thought they could not.
But two things I can not stomach are hypocrisy and judgement.
There's been lots of that lately.
And I can't write about it all at once. There's just too much and it's all convoluted.
The next few posts will be tough, but I have to get it out there.
The things is...
I just don't want any one to be involved in every thing I have in my life.