Have you ever thought about what people would say about you at your funeral?

Or who would deliver your eulogy?

I have. 

I'm thinking that if I have the time (because I don't die in an accident) I'd like to write a letter to my surviving family and friends to tell them how I feel about them - instead of them speaking about how they will remember me. 

I know this is a sad thing to think about, but there is so much I'd like to tell them.

And I'd like the last thing they hear about me to be from me instead.




I'm not big on touching.

I am very tactile, I can't help but touch everyTHING, but I don't really like touching people - and I'm even less thrilled about people touching me.

Another thing I feel I must declare before continuing is that I am fiercely independant and generally a very confident woman.

OK, so... these are my thoughts around PDA, cuddling and sex.

I don't want to be very touchy-feely in public. Personally, I don't need it. I feel like when a couple is constantly holding hands, have their arms around each other or worse - kissing! - it makes them appear insecure. I think to myself "Can neither of you have a good time without the other clinging to you like that?" I also think "If all you want to do is be with each other - why didn't you just stay home?" It just seems wierd.

And, I'm human. I can be needy (sometimes) and occasionally
I need the kind of attention, reassurance and support that you can only get from physical closeness with another. But i do not feel like PDA, cuddling and sex are dependandant on each other.

Most people would say that they hold hands with, put their arms around and cuddle with people they are sexually attracted to. Not me.

If I'm sexually attracted to someone, I want thier sex. Not thier snuggly closeness. If I want someone hanging on me, I'll babysit a small child. And when I need another's arms around me to make me feel secure and loved, I'll lay on the couch with my children and watch cartoons.

What I'm trying to say is that I have the same needs as everyone else. I just don't feel that I am obligated to get all those needs filled by the same person just becuase other people do.

I also don't agree that you need to have all of these things -  PDA, cuddling and sex - with your partner in order to have a healthy relationship. You should be able to get what you want from your relationship though.
There are few things in life I enjoy more than air hockey.

I mean I really REALLY like it.

Air hockey is fast, strategic and you can hurt yourself if you're not paying attention.

Tonight, I schooled 2 little boys (and coached them as they played each other) at air hockey and as I did I realized what a superb metaphore for life air hockey actualy is.

It moves fast. You HAVE to pay attention in air hockey. There is little time, if any, to celebrate the points you score becuase your opponant will score one on you before you even notice it if you take your eyes off the table. Lesson: Stay focused.

Strategy counts. You can't just hit the puck back at your foe like you're returning a tennis serve in air hockey. You have to notice their strengths and weaknesses immediatly then exploit them - for your personal gain, of course. It takes lightening fast reflexes, even faster executive function and finesse wins points as effectively and as often as old fashioned brute strength. Lesson: Always be thinking, 2 steps ahead, about how to get what you want.

Use caution. It's not uncommon, especially for novices, to get hurt somehow while getting into air hockey. Details as seemingly small as how you stand up against the table can determine if you walk away with battle scars or not. It's a lot to think about, I know - kinda' like golf. Lesson: Be aware of your surroundings and who you're surrounded by.

Air hockey - a metaphore for life.
These are 3 different text messages from the last week.

They are from 3 different people and I find them all hilarious.

To be clear, I am the texter in the green word bubbles.


In 5 days I will be unemployed.

As of the writing of this blog post, I have nothing lined up.

In times like these, I often think about what I could have been or maybe even should have been if I weren't what I actually am.

Here's a few things I probobly should have looked into becomming:

Yoga instructor
Self help guru
Runway model
Petroleum engineer
"Hey - watch this."

I was watching...

He had spotted a leggy, albeit 'athletic,' burnette across the patio and somehow caught her attention with "Hey - do you play volleyball?"

She walked over to our lounge area (where we were loungeing, of course) and said "Hi!"

Her wavy hair was bouncing and she had a pretty, chubby smile.

"Yeah! Well, I used to," she said expectantly - but a little confused.

All he says is: "Yeah, you look like a volleyball player."