Happy #boobiewednesday, y'all!
Is it a coincidence #boobiewednesday is the same day of the week as #humpday?

I don't think so.
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I need some...
 

update

05/23/2011

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my therapist, marilyn, has a very aggressive cancer - that was not caught at an early stage.

i got a call from her last wednesday that she is closing her practice. she is not going to be here much longer...  only a matter of days. 

she called to tell me herself. she was so weak i could barely understand her as she spoke. even as she and i cried together, she left me with a last few thoughts to carry with me. she said she wouldn't worry about me becuase i was her most willing client - the most open to making positive change in my life.
 
i guess thats her way of letting me know that i can't stop even though she wont be the one sheperding me.

i knew months ago, that she wouldn't be here forever, but just as they saying goes - you're never prepared. even when you think you are.

i'm transitioning to one of her partners this week. but, it won't be the same.
 

my quest

05/23/2011

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I'm on a quest for a very big time this week/weekend.
 
 
Another incident that I always look back on with a smile is when I got busted having sex ON a car (vs IN one.)

My high school boyfriend, Steve, and I had found a place to park and make out after cruising around some country roads and suburban parking lots looking for an appropriate place to be inappropriate. Keep in mind that we were teenagers before you ask me WHY we chose to go parking on high school grounds, but that’s where we found ourselves.

At some point we agreed the car was getting hot, so instead of turning the car ON, we got out and I sat up on the hood and we continued to get our freak on.

To be honest, we were both caught up in the moment and not at all paying attention to our surroundings or the people in them when all of a sudden BRIGHT LIGHT! BRIGHT LIGHT! we were blinded by a spotlight beaming directly on us.

There was nowhere for us to run. Two completely nekked white kids fucking on the hood of a mustang don’t have any choices, really. We were busted.

The cop was kind of a dick. He cut us zero slack. He made us stand there, at attention, next the car - while bugs bit us – and he acted like he was interrogating terrorists. In addition to the patrol car mounted-spotlight that still lit up the entire high school parking lot - and our bare backsides - he made sure to utilize all of his intimidation techniques by also shining his Mag-Lite in our faces as if he was trying to peer into our souls.

He started yelling at us.

Cop: “What are you doing?!”

Steve: “Nothing sir.”

Cop: “Well, that didn’t look like NUTHIN’!”

Then he looked directly at me and although he still sounded stern his face softened slightly as he asked:

“Are you ok? Do you want to be here?”

It took me a second to figure out what the question behind the question was. I just didn’t want either of our parents to find out, I hadn’t thought my answer would determine if Steve went away in handcuffs or not. (We were both still nekked, mind you.)

“Yes sir. I’m fine. This is my boyfriend. We were just messing around.”

He checked our licenses and looked in the car for alcohol (we’re STILL nekked!) and decided we really were 2 teenagers who actually were JUST messing around.

He lectured us for a good bit about trespassing and the dangers of hanging out in deserted parking lots at night. But, in the end, he did let us go without a citation or calling our parents. WHEW!

Then and ONLY THEN were we allowed to get back in our car and put our clothes on.

In total, including fucking on the hood of the car, we stood in the dark, with NO CLOTHES ON, getting bitten by mosquitoes, for 20 minutes.

Was there a lesson learned? Yes.

"If you’re going to fuck on the hood of a car on public property, keep at least half your clothes on."
 
 
I see you like the new gallery.

3rd most visited page right now.

I'll do my best, as always...

 
 
Last night started normal enough.

He went with me to my ADD group meeting, then we stopped for a cocktail/snack at a popular restaurant on my side of town.

He had me try a very unique beer (an IPA that I can’t remember the name of – it was gross) and we talked a lot. We talked about silly stuff, serious stuff and then sexy stuff.

In case you’ve missed it, I like sex in cars, always have. So, we found our way to a secluded (enough) spot on the top level of a parking garage. We knew there were probably security cameras, but didn’t think we’d be in the middle of climaxing when the security guard would drive up.

**Cue chase scene theme music here**

“Um, hey! I know you’re cumming, but the cops are driving straight at us.”

He jumped into the driver’s seat while I grabbed a beach towel to cover myself – this wouldn’t have been the first time I’ve had to address a man in uniform whilst nekked, after all. I know the drill.

“Just start the car and drive away,” I said.

“Where are the keys?! Oh, I found them!”

He started the car and quickly drove in the opposite direction of the security guard. The guard chose to chase us – in a golf cart. Yes, I’m serious. We started laughing at first, but then realized his golf cart was souped-up and was surprisingly fast, but not as fast as my car.

As I dressed myself in both the clothes I was wearing and the clothes I could grab from my gym bag, he sat in the front seat, absolutely bare, safely navigating the garage while we both looked over our shoulder for the golf cart.

At the garage entrance, he put the car in park and jumped to the passenger seat while I climbed over and took over driving us off premises. (At this point, I have most of my clothes on and he’s still nekked.)

Once we were on the highway, we cracked up. We had just escaped a security guard in a golf cart and acted like it we were the Bandit and Frog outrunning Smokey Bear (1997 movie reference for you youngsters.) We hi-fived and started talking all kinds of shit to an imaginary “cop” who wasn’t even chasing us anymore.

It was fun. And exciting. And we both finished. ; )

We were victorious, we felt young and we felt we were above the law – the law at a shopping center parking garage, that is.

That counts, right?
 

Alex

05/05/2011

2 Comments

 
In all my life I’ve never been approached by a man in the same manner as while on my getaway last weekend.

His opening line was “Hi, I’m Alex. Ya know, I’m getting older and I’m not like I used to be – I’m taking Cialis and I also use a testosterone cream.”

I’m so happy my friend was there to witness this drunken spectacle because otherwise she would never have believed this.

About 13 of us were in a hot tub in the “Adult Pool” area – which, by the way, is NOT like the “Adult Pools” in Vegas (my bad) – he was standing before us in waist deep water bare-chested, and he had no trouble mentioning this as the very first thing he wanted us to know about him.

I am not speechless very often. In fact, I find pleasure in throwing the curve ball or broaching a topic with other people that makes THEM speechless. But my friend was more shocked than I and I knew if I didn’t say something, it would get even more awkward.

He was drunk and I was a little more than tipsy so I just asked him outright “OK. How’s that workin for ya?”

I was sincere, of course, I was curious as to if the Cialis/hormone cream was working for him because obviously, that pick-up line was his go-to for a reason. I mean, he announced it with such confidence and swagger.

In the end, his gamble at showing his vulnerable side up front didn’t pan out for him with us. But, he did give me an experience and a memory that I will never forget.
 
 
Watching highlights of the US Pole Dance Championship, 2011 from last Friday.
 
The strength and agility these girls have is unbelieveable!

I took a strip dancing class a few years ago that I LOVED and was pretty good at, honestly. I did it for 10 weeks and paid close attention to the details. It was a great workout, too.

I took the first set of classes, but the third set was to be taught in an actual strip club, on a pole. To keep ourselves motivated, when the going got tough, we'd yell out "My goal is the POLE!"

Now that I have a little more time, I think I'm going to continue with those - I mean, I never reached my goal. All I need to do is make a phone call and throw some Clorox wipes into my workout bag. 

I'm gonna check into that tomorrow.